Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
