Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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