If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
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smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
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Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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