She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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