i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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