i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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