Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
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There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
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I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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