your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
