fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
