Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
