I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
