My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You dont lie about slip and slides
You are a booty call, not a friend.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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