I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
