I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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