I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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