Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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