Hey man sorry I got all grabby
they need to just BURY HIM!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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