Will you blow on my dice?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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