What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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