too bad you live with your parents still
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
