Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
