okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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