Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
