hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Let's get the cat blown out
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sext me about skeletons
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
