I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He felt like a one man threesome
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
