My first STD was from a foam party
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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