and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
