so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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