Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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