Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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