Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I'm really busy with my period
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