they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
