We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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