I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
