Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
