is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
