happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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