I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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