I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
