Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
