yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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