He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
