First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
