Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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