I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
