chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
