I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
