if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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