maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
