I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
