I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
