I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
