miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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