you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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