So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
