i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
