No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
