You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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