Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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