let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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