Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
