It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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