Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize