Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
