I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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